💘 Liking Someone vs Loving Someone. The Confusing Mess Explained

Ever been stuck thinking, “Wait… do I like them or do I love them?” Yeah. Me too.
And honestly, the line between “I like you” and “I love you” is thinner than you think.

So let’s break it down without the therapy jargon, without pretending we’re all emotionally stable (we’re not).

What “liking someone” actually feels like

When you like someone, it’s light. Fun.
You catch yourself smiling at their messages, stalking their Instagram just a tiny bit, and maybe daydreaming about random stuff like going on late-night drives or matching outfits.

You like the idea of them.
You like how they make you feel — that dopamine rush when your phone lights up with their name.

But here’s the deal: liking someone doesn’t demand anything heavy.
It’s “I like you around me” energy, not “I’ll stay when things fall apart” energy.

Liking is when you:

• Wanna look your best when they’re around
• Feel happy when they text first
• Don’t tell them you cried over a math assignment yesterday
• Would rather talk about memes than trauma

It’s basically the crush phase — all sparkle, zero tax.

And then… loving someone hits different

Love isn’t loud. It’s quieter.
It’s when you stop performing and just exist around someone.
It’s when you don’t care if your hair looks like a bird’s nest because they’ve already seen worse and still stayed.

When you love someone —
you start caring about their mental peace as much as yours.
You stop thinking about what they bring to your life
and start thinking about how you can make theirs better.

It’s messy.
It’s late-night arguments followed by “don’t sleep angry.”
It’s “I’ll still text you even if I’m mad” energy.

Love is not fireworks. It’s a warm lamp when the power goes out.

Quick comparison

See the pattern?
Liking is feeling nice.
Loving is being kind.

So why does this matter?

Because we all confuse butterflies with roots.
Butterflies are cute... they flutter, they make your stomach do flips.
But roots? They keep things alive.
And love is more roots than butterflies.

If you chase only butterflies, every new person feels like “the one” until they’re not.
But when love shows up, it’s boring sometimes.
And that’s how you know it’s real.

The grey zone: “I like them but I think I’m starting to love them”

This is the emotional purgatory no one prepares you for.
You’re not obsessed anymore, but you care too much to walk away.
You still get nervous before seeing them, but you also wanna tell them about the weird dream you had about ducks.

That’s the transition phase.
If it’s healthy, it slowly shifts into comfort and care.
If it’s not, it fizzles.
And that’s fine too. Not every spark needs to turn into a wildfire.

Real talk

Love isn’t a feeling that just happens.
It’s a choice you keep making to stay, to care, to grow.

Liking is a feeling.
Loving is an effort.

If you ever find someone who gives you both —
someone who makes you laugh and feels like home —
don’t overthink it. Just hold on. Or maybe wait for the right time :)

So what now?

Ask yourself:

• Do I like how they make me feel?
• Or do I love who they are, even when they’re not making me feel good?

If the second one hits harder, congrats. You’ve crossed the line.
If not, that’s okay. Not everything needs to turn into love.
Sometimes, liking is enough. It’s still beautiful.

Sources (for the curious nerds.. Yes buddy, for you.)

• Marriage.com: Love vs Like
• Verywell Mind: Rubin’s Theory of Love vs Liking
• Healthline: Being in Love vs Loving Someone
• Couples Therapy Melbourne: Understanding Liking vs Loving

So, if you have something to say... There’s a comment box down there 👇